Hi there friends.
I know I have been gone for quite some time. I couldn’t seem to get back into things. It has been thing after thing around here, and we cannot seem to catch a break.
I’ll skip the life update, nothing important has happened. The most interesting things in the last 6 or 7 months, were the historic ice storm with a week long power outage, and the most recent heatwave where temps rose to 115 degrees Fahrenheit. Yikes! It was tough but bearable. We made it through.
Nothing else has been going on with us. Just regular school and work for all of us. We have had less and less time together which sucks but we got to take our first trip since the pandemic started in early June, so I cannot wait to recap all that for you! 🙂
I’m here to talk about something else though.
Depression & Anxiety
It is no secret that I’ve struggled with anxiety for many years, but it took me even longer to admit and accept that I also was depressed. The first instance where my depression showed up was when my kiddo was 2 and a half years old. If you’ve been around long enough, I might have talked about it as if it were anxiety. It still took me several years to come to terms with it and I do still struggle with both every few months or so.
I haven’t been diagnosed officially but I have all the symptoms. I have tried to manage it as best as I can and I think I am making some pretty good strides. That being said, I am ready to start making changes in my lifestyle to manage it better and to really get somewhere. Which brings me to the next thing….
I mentioned in my last post, Rewind 2020: The Good Times, that I had been feeling stuck and unmotivated and that usually makes me feel worse the more I think about it. Lately, I have been taking those feelings and using them to push me into the right direction. It’s funny how your mindset can change things. Even this post, originally, had a negative title.
Now that my mental health has improved, I wanted to turn things around for myself. I have always been a believer in The Law of Attraction and in fact, I was so deep into it before I became pregnant. Long story short, I put my dreams and career on hold to care for my little one and as hard as those years were for me, they are something I am also proud of. And now that my son has gotten older and more independent, I made the decision to go back to work last September and re-start my career.
Now that I’ve been working and recently even got a small raise, I feel like I want to start working on myself more and maybe even start making my own dreams come true. It will be a tough and long road, I have many goals and ambitions. I always get stressed out because I feel like I’m behind everyone else. Everyone is starting their own business, has their dream job, a home, etc. Meanwhile, I’m comparing myself to others with what I don’t yet have. I am hoping that as I work on myself, I find myself along the way.
I definitely want to start my own business, I have a lot of ideas. But nothing is set in stone. I also still want to continue writing for both of my blogs and finally take the leap into monetizing them and making something out of that. I feel like I deserve to reap the benefits of this thing that started out as a hobby. I have had lots of opportunities of getting free products to review thanks to IG and for that I am grateful. All I have to do is manage my time better and start doing what I once did.
If you follow the lovely Jennie, you will see her talking about this often. It was something I forgot during some dark years and I was so glad that she took this upon herself and changed her life for the better. In turn she has helped me realize and remember the potential I also have in me. It took me a while to get here, I dealt with depression and anxiety this winter, and the global pandemic, and my job didn’t make that easier on me, but I have bounced back and here I am. That being said, I wanted to share some things that I manifested last year.
I don’t know how people use bucket lists, but I use them to manifest something I want. Again, Law of Attraction. Last year I dedicated my 2020 BL to “happiness and lots of family fun”. I focused on travel and personal goals and I am happy to say that we made it happen!
Due to the pandemic, we couldn’t travel out of state, but we still did lots of road trips within our state. 🙂 My Summer BL had more traveling items and those memories are great to look back on, read my RECAP to see what items we crossed off. On this post, I will focus on my 2020 BL. 🙂
The first two BL items were crossed off before we went into lockdown:
- Las Vegas Round 2
- See the Death Valley
- Go to the beach
As for my personal goals, I was able to cross off four out of five!!
Looking back at my personal goals, I fully realized the power of putting things out into the universe for manifestation.
One manifestation I completely forgot about was money. Prior to moving out in December, I felt like our living situation would put us in the hole. My solution was to get a job (which I manifested). Closer to October/November it became clear that we had to move out. Again, I worried about barely making ends meet and not being able to help out.
When one person panics, the other one stays calm. Funny how that works too, right? Well, my husband was the one panicking that we wouldn’t have enough money for our moving expenses, rent and deposit on the apartment. One thing I kept repeating over and over to my husband to ease his mind was “don’t worry, we will figure it out, the money will come”. And sure enough, it did. Money flowed and we were fine. I would like to keep manifesting more money because living out on our own has been more expensive than we initially thought. Not to mention
our my frivolous spending kind of set us back a bit. But I am positive that money will come flowing right back.
Seriously guys, manifesting works in mystery ways.
That being said, I do plan on shifting my mindset as well as changing up my lifestyle. Eating healthy, exercising, getting more sleep and spending more time on the hobbies I love; blogging and makeup. I have to believe good things are in store for me. I have been patient, but I think things are mine for the taking. It’s my time now!
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What is one thing you are hoping to manifest this year?
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